Twas the night before Christmas, when all through Agbiome
Not a creature was stirring, not even a lab gnome.
The flasks were put in the shakers with care,
In hopes that new discoveries soon would be there.
The stinkbugs were nestled, all snug in their cages
While visions of local, organically grown green beans from the our greenhouse team danced in their heads
And Larry D just settled down for a long meeting nap
When down at the freezer room there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from my desk to see what was the matter
Away to the -80s I flew like a flash, tore open the door and looked at the temps
When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But Phil who shouted “don’t worry I got this”
With a little drill he handled so quick
I knew in a moment our microbes would not get sick
More rapid than Howler his helpers they came,
And he whistled, and shouted, and call’d them by name:
“Now Kestrel, now Anna, now Billie, and Ryan,
“On Sarah, on Dylan, on Elka and Tyson;
To the working freezer doors and good temperatures !
Now dash away! dash away! dash away all!
So up to the big freezers they flew,
With vials of microbes - and dead nematodes too
And then in a twinkling, their job was done in a poof
They scampered and scrambled to fix up the goof
As I nodded my head, and was turning around,
Down the hood St. Nicholas came with a bound:
He was dressed in lab gear, from his head to his foot,
And his clothes were all tarnished with sipernat and microcel-e;
A bundle of lab supplies was flung on his back,
And he look’d like a peddler just opening his pack:
His eyes - how they twinkled! his dimples how merry,
His cheeks were like roses, his nose like a cherry;
His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow,
And the beard of his chin was as white as sodium chloride;
The stump of a pipette he held tight in his teeth,
And the plasmid within the cells he dispensed were shaped like a wreath
He had a broad face, and a little round belly
That shook when he laughed, like a bowl full of agar:
He was chubby and plump, a right jolly old elf,
And I laughed when I saw him in spite of myself,
A wink of his eye and a twist of his head
Soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread.
He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,
And filled up the supply closets and left extra dog treats; then turn’d with a jerk,
And laying his finger aside of his nose
And giving a nod, up the bioreactor he rose.
He sprung to his sleigh, to his team gave a whistle,
And away they all flew, like the down of a thistle:
But I heard him exclaim, as he drove out of sight-
Merry Christmas to all, Happy Anniversary AgBiome, and to all a good night!